Leave the eggs in the hall
by Susan Anderson
Tuesday, March 25, 2008 9:29 AM MDT
It’s taken a while for someone to figure out that dressing an adult up like the Easter Bunny could bring parents and their kids into stores.
But the phenomenon of Easter Bunny as child counselor or boogeyman was in full display during the week before Easter.
A child who appeared to be 2-1/2 had to be dragged screaming from the center court bunny at the Eastridge Mall after she got a look at the giant, buck-toothed, large-eared rodent that grinned at children.
I’m on her side. Nothing in her experience prepared her for sitting on the lap of this alien bunny. And really, everyone knows that rabbits don’t make noises, which makes relating to a bunny that’s 100 times the normal size and can talk seem a little daunting.
Looking for bunny lore on the Internet, I found several posted videos of bunnies “kicking b---.” Darth Easter Bunny was photographed at a Stars Wars convention in Germany, wearing a white Star Wars storm trooper outfit with a cute pink nose and bunny ears.
On one site, for $9.99, you can get a personalized letter for your child from the Easter Bunny, but the special envelope had an especially menacing rabbit on it, with one ear up and one down and a sinister leer. You can add to your letter “A pound of personalized chocolate from Santa’s Candy Castle.” Does Santa know the Easter Bunny?
On the day before Easter at Linton’s Big R in Casper, 70 kids came to visit the Easter Bunny in residence, who was at least a little smaller than the scary one at the mall.
That bunny had some interesting conversations.
“I’m going to bite the heads off of the Yellow Peeps,” one child confided, clearly not trying to win more candy with good behavior.
One tried bribery, promising to leave two carrots for the bunny.
Another got a little bossy -- telling the bunny to just leave a T-bone steak in his basket.
When the bunny tried positive advice by encouraging one little boy to clean his room so the Easter Bunny doesn’t trip on Legos and Transformers, he replied, “I don’t want to! Just leave the eggs in the hall.”
Saw his shadow
Here is an Easter story that could easily offend people who don’t want to read about religion or those who feel religion is too serious a matter for ridiculous stories. So, you are forewarned.
This happened in a Sunday School Easter lesson, and it may be an urban myth, but I want to tell it anyway. When the teacher asked the second-grader, “Why was the tomb empty?” he came up with the obvious answer, “Because Jesus wasn’t there.”
The teacher felt pretty encouraged about this Resurrection lesson and followed up with the question, “Why?”
The answer n “Jesus was hiding because he saw his shadow and now spring isn’t going to come for six weeks.”
It must be a good time for all clerics to go on vacation and start over again in a few weeks.
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